--Learn what the heck a “resolution” means.
--I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
--Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
--Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
--Don’t eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
--I will balance my checkbook (on my nose).
--I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
Famous New Year’s Day quotes
--Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. ~Bill Vaughn
--An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan
--Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. ~Author Unknown
--A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. ~Author Unknown
--The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. ~P.J. O’Rourke
--People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown
--Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde
--New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. ~Jay Leno
--One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs
--It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets. ~William Thomas
--May your troubles last as long as your resolutions. ~Joey Adams
--He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. ~F.M. Knowles
--The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears. ~W.H. Auden
--I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. Robert Paul
And perhaps the most sobering quote:
--The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. G. K. Chesterton
Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions
--Spend more time with the family.
--Take more exercise - Get fit.
--Lose (loose!) weight.
--Give up smoking (again).
--Get out of dept.
--Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby.
--Put something into the community -help others.
--Get organized. Else buy shares in diary, or companies selling electronic planners!
--Become more security conscious.
--Give up drinking, at least for the first week of January!
Have a great and Happy New Year!